Thursday, May 13, 2010

Conversations with Parker: "Anatomy Lesson"

With me being pregnant, and Parker being an inquisitive three year-old, a detailed anatomy lesson was bound to happen sooner rather than later.  This is the last part of our conversation during lunch today:

Parker: "Where does the name 'Mama' come from?"

Me: "It is short for mother, and a mother is a woman who has a child and takes care of it."

Parker: "No, I take care of YOU, Mama!" (proceeds to crawl into my lap and give me a hug).

Me: "Aww, yes, you do."

Parker: "And you take care of Dada, and Dada takes care of me!"

Me: "Yes, we all take care of each other."

Parker: "That's nice to take care of each other."

Me: "Are you going to help me take care of the new baby when he comes out?"

Parker: "Yes, but is he going to come out now?"

Me: "No, we want him to get bigger first.  Right now he's about this big (showing with my hands), and we want him to get this big!"

Parker: "And THIS big! (spreading his arms wide)"

Me: "Well, he can get that big AFTER he comes out."

Parker: "But how does the baby come out?"

Me (doing a mental 'uh-oh'): "Well... there are two different ways he could come out.  See this line in my belly?  The doctor cut open my belly and that's how YOU came out.  The other way he could come out is through my vagina."

Parker (thinking about this): "But if you go pee-pee, the baby will fall into the toilet!"

Me: "No, my pee-pee doesn't come out of my vagina." 

Parker (looking confused): "But how come your pee-pee doesn't come out of your vagina?"

Me: "My pee-pee comes out of my urethra which is a part above my vagina.  I know that's confusing for you since your urethra is inside your penis, so your pee-pee comes out of your penis."

Parker: "But what happens if the baby falls into the potty?" 

Me: "That won't happen, I promise."

Parker: "But what happens if it DOES?"

Me: "Well, then I'd have to rescue him."

Parker: "But what happens if he goes down the drain?"

Me: "That won't happen Sweetie, he'd be too big to go down the drain.  Maybe if he came out now he might, but we want him to come out when he's bigger and he'd be too big to fit down the drain."

Parker: "Maybe we should wait until your vagina gets bigger."

Me (laughing): "Yes, we should probably wait for that, too."

Parker: "But I want to see your... your... your etha."

Me: "You want to see my urethra?"

Parker: "Yes, I want to see it above your vagina."

Me (not liking where this is going and filling with doubt): "OK, maybe the next time I have to pee I'll show you where the pee comes out."

Parker: "But how about now?"

Me (sighing): "OK, I guess I do have to go potty."

And yup, you betcha, I (very briefly) pointed out where my urethra was and then quickly sat on the toilet.  Fortunately, that ended the conversation (for now).  Eek, though!  At least we haven't gotten to the, "but how did the baby get in your belly?" question, yet!


Kristen said...

Omg. That is too funny. I can just imagine how you must have felt!! Ack! ;-P

On the other hand...he sounds very smart lol.

sarah said...

ok, thats so so funny. congratulations on your BOY! :)

Aimie said...

Love it!!

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