Schooled by a Polite 3.5 Year-Old

We've been working really hard on Parker's manners, but so far all it's taught my three and a half year old is to talk back politely.

Me: "Will you bring me your juice cup from upstairs, please?"

Parker (sweetly): "Will you go get it, please?"

Me: "I asked you first, buddy.  Besides, I brought it up to you, so the nice and helpful thing to do would be to bring it back down to me."

Parker (even more sweetly): "Yes, you brought it up to me, so you may bring it back down, too."
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"And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them." - Luke 6:31

Bottling Moments

I've had some precious moments this morning already that I wish I could bottle up and keep forever.  Since I can't physically put them in a bottle, I decided to put them on this blog so I could go back to cherish them years from now. 

I am twenty weeks into my pregnancy, and I have still been taking Zofran to help inhibit me from throwing up.  It has now been 2.5 days since I've taken the medication and I managed to keep everything down until just a short while ago.  That's the longest I've gone without medication and not threw up in over 14 weeks, so things are at least looking up.  The nausea is worse without the medication, but I'm trying to work through it with food and prayer. 

The one good thing about the nausea is it had me up before Parker nibbling crackers and drinking Sierra Mist.  While doing so, I figured it was a good opportunity to get in some Bible study.  Right now the mom's group I'm in is going through one of Beth Moore's 9-week studies.  It's really helping me get a clear picture of my faith and encouraging me to ask God for more.  I had a moment of reflection this morning where my mind was flashing through events throughout my life and realizing now how God was working in my life to bring me even to this day.  This was bottle moment number one.  It makes me excited to see what He has in store for me for the future.  I know there will be trials, but I feel good that God will see me through them if I continue to believe Him and exercise faith in what He can and will do. 

Bottle moment number two was when I went upstairs to get Parker out of bed:
Me: "Good morning, Love."
Parker: "I'm not Love.  I'm Parker." 
A little while later...
Me: "I love you, buddy.  Oh wait, you're not buddy, you're Parker.  Right?"
Parker (hugging me): "I'm your buddy, I'm your Parker, AND I'm your love."  Aww...

Bottle moment number three was Parker playing hair dresser on me.  He narrated the whole process beautifully to make sure I was comfortable (and following his directions).  He used his toy drill as a blow dryer.  He curled my hair with a screw driver.  Then he "flattened" it with a nut stuck on the tip of the screw driver, "Now keep your eyes closed.  I'll be very gentle."  I sat there quietly like a good client and thought, "How sweet my little boy is.  Who needs a girl when you have a boy like this, anyway?"  Then, as if he read my mind, he took his saw and cut open my head to see what was inside.  LOL!  Fortunately, he took his hammer and nails and nailed my head back together.  Then he went through the whole process of fixing my hair up again.  I think he did a good job of hiding the scars.  :)

Bottle moment number four is after breakfast when Parker wanted to snuggle with me on the couch.  He pretended I was a bed and my hand was his cup holder.  We were listening to Elton John.  When "Crocodile Rock" came on, I started moving to the beat a little.  When Parker said I couldn't dance because beds don't dance, I said, "But doesn't it make you want to dance?  It's so hard not to dance when music like this comes on."  Parker replied, "That's because this is rock 'n' roll!" 

Since my tummy is starting to gurgle, I think I'll leave bottle moment number five to pictures:

Proud of his tower building skills

 

Then joyfully knocking it down!

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"... but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31

Conversations with Parker: "Anatomy Lesson"

With me being pregnant, and Parker being an inquisitive three year-old, a detailed anatomy lesson was bound to happen sooner rather than later.  This is the last part of our conversation during lunch today:

Parker: "Where does the name 'Mama' come from?"

Me: "It is short for mother, and a mother is a woman who has a child and takes care of it."

Parker: "No, I take care of YOU, Mama!" (proceeds to crawl into my lap and give me a hug).

Me: "Aww, yes, you do."

Parker: "And you take care of Dada, and Dada takes care of me!"

Me: "Yes, we all take care of each other."

Parker: "That's nice to take care of each other."

Me: "Are you going to help me take care of the new baby when he comes out?"

Parker: "Yes, but is he going to come out now?"

Me: "No, we want him to get bigger first.  Right now he's about this big (showing with my hands), and we want him to get this big!"

Parker: "And THIS big! (spreading his arms wide)"

Me: "Well, he can get that big AFTER he comes out."

Parker: "But how does the baby come out?"

Me (doing a mental 'uh-oh'): "Well... there are two different ways he could come out.  See this line in my belly?  The doctor cut open my belly and that's how YOU came out.  The other way he could come out is through my vagina."

Parker (thinking about this): "But if you go pee-pee, the baby will fall into the toilet!"

Me: "No, my pee-pee doesn't come out of my vagina." 

Parker (looking confused): "But how come your pee-pee doesn't come out of your vagina?"

Me: "My pee-pee comes out of my urethra which is a part above my vagina.  I know that's confusing for you since your urethra is inside your penis, so your pee-pee comes out of your penis."

Parker: "But what happens if the baby falls into the potty?" 

Me: "That won't happen, I promise."

Parker: "But what happens if it DOES?"

Me: "Well, then I'd have to rescue him."

Parker: "But what happens if he goes down the drain?"

Me: "That won't happen Sweetie, he'd be too big to go down the drain.  Maybe if he came out now he might, but we want him to come out when he's bigger and he'd be too big to fit down the drain."

Parker: "Maybe we should wait until your vagina gets bigger."

Me (laughing): "Yes, we should probably wait for that, too."

Parker: "But I want to see your... your... your etha."

Me: "You want to see my urethra?"

Parker: "Yes, I want to see it above your vagina."

Me (not liking where this is going and filling with doubt): "OK, maybe the next time I have to pee I'll show you where the pee comes out."

Parker: "But how about now?"

Me (sighing): "OK, I guess I do have to go potty."

And yup, you betcha, I (very briefly) pointed out where my urethra was and then quickly sat on the toilet.  Fortunately, that ended the conversation (for now).  Eek, though!  At least we haven't gotten to the, "but how did the baby get in your belly?" question, yet!

My Head is Going to Explode

Yes, I have some weird allergy/ear thing going on giving me headaches and dizzy spells, but that's not why my head is going to explode. It's going to explode from spending the day "communicating" with a toddler.

I was reminiscing today on Parker's baby days. You know, back when he would cry and cry and cry and I would wish he could talk so I could know what he needed right away. As a first time mom, I guess I didn't fully realize the implications of that wish. I decided that (as Parker finally finishes eating breakfast) I would share with you what a normal day is now like since Parker can talk (bear in mind I've already had to get up twice three four times to serve help Parker in the two fifteen minutes since I've started writing this).

So earlier this morning Parker was taking a bath after waking up soaked with pee, even after being wrapped in two overnight diapers (off topic question - at what age do kids usually stop needing a diaper/pull-up at night after they've already been potty trained? I'm seriously thinking it might still be worthwhile to invest in cloth diapers if P's still going to need something at night for awhile).

Back to the bath. He's in the bath playing with a toy shark while I'm sitting on the toilet drinking some tea. The shark he's playing with starts talking to me in a deep voice.

P: "Hello Mama. What are you doing today?"

Me: "I'm drinking some tea. What are you doing?"

P: "I'm just fine."

Me: (I bust out in a pathetic explanation of the difference between "how" and "what")

P: (still in shark voice) "Mama, how are you today?"

Me: "I'm OK -- a little tired though. How are you today?"

P: "I'm fine. What are you doing today, Mister Mama?"

Me: "Well, after I drink my tea, I'd like to eat breakfast, read my Bible, get dressed and then go grocery shopping."

P: (Reverting back to Parker) "No, I don't want to go! I want to stay here with Dada and play!"

Me: "Sorry, Bud. Dada went to work. It's Monday (start singing a lousy rendition of the Mama's and The Papa's song)... Hey, don't drink that water! It's soapy!"

P: "It's not soapy."

Me: "Yes it is. I just washed you with soap. Look at how cloudy it is!"

P: "Sharks like dirty water."

Me: "They do, huh?"

P: "Yes."

(A minute or two passes while Parker sings "Monday, Monday" and then he pauses to pick his nose and flick his prize into the water.)

P: "I put boogies in the water. Water boogies!" (He laughs like he made the best joke ever and proceeds to dig for more "water boogies.")

Me: (Clearly annoyed) "Are you ready to get out yet?"

P: "I don't want to go to the store! I want to stay here and play!"

Me: "Don't worry, Bud. You'll have time to play. Look at me. I'm not ready. I still have to eat breakfast and get dressed."

P: "I want to eat breakfast, too!"

Me: "OK. What do you want for breakfast?"

P: "Hmm... maybe nothing."

Me: "How about oatmeal?"

P: "Hmm... maybe juice."

Me: "You can have juice if you get out."

P: "OK. I want juice Mister Mama. I want to stay here in my warm towel and YOU get my juice."

Me: (Tempted to bow) "OK, fine." (Proceed to take him out of the bath and then get his [mostly water but don't tell him that] juice.)

P: "I want to go pee-pee, Mama!"

Me: "OK. Stand up, please, and let's go on the potty."

P: "No, I want to sit down on the potty."

Me: "OK, but you need to stand up first, Dude."

P: "I want my towel on. Put it on my back and make sure it doesn't get pee-pee on it. (After peeing) I want to go poo-poo, Mama. I need a magazine."

Me: (Thinking) Oh man, this is going to be a loooooooooong day.

In my prayer later: Thank you, Lord, for my son's ability to talk. I know I complain, and please forgive me for that, but I do appreciate his whiney cute little voice and his demanding sweet demeanor. May he live a long, full, blessed life. Amen.

Thank goodness God has a sense of humor (I hope).
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"Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him." - Proverbs 30:5

Conversations with (2.5 years old now!) Parker

July 25
We were visiting Jake's parents. Grandpa Dan had accidentally killed a large patch of grass. Parker looked at it and said, "That's a bummer."

July 28
Parker was sitting on the potty pulling on one of those little advertisement cards in a magazine and was getting rather frustrated. When I asked him what was wrong he said, "I'm trying to get this thingamajigger out!"

August 11
(Playing by himself with his cars)
Car #1: "Why, hello! Nice to meet you!"
Car #2: "You're not nice!"
Car #1: "I'm a teacher. I'm nice. Did you know that?"

(He matched them up like this by himself. Silly kid.)

Later...

Me: "Parker, buddy, guess what?"
P: "Chicken butt."

August 12
Me: "Parker, please don't drum on the table with your fork. You can use your hands to drum though."
P: "I don't want to drum with my hands! It's boring!"

Later...
Me: "Parker, do you want a vitamin and some milk now?"
P: "That's OK."
Me: "Does that mean you do want them or no?"
P: "That's OK."
Me: "Please say, 'yes I do want them' or 'no, I don't.'"
P: "Yes, I don't."


August 16
I handed Parker his electric toothbrush.
P: "Now I'm going to start it on, OK? OK."
Wait, was he talking to me? He either was talking to a voice in his head or decided to answer for me.

Later...
P: "I'm swinging like Christopher Robin?"
Me: "Which way does Christopher Robin swing?" (then laugh realizing what I just asked)

August 17
P singing: "This old man, he played three. He played knick-knack on my knee with a knick-knack paddy whack, talk about a bone, this old man came rolling home."


August 20
(swinging on the swing)
P: "I want to try the other one. This one's boring!"

Later...

Me: "Do you want to color?"
P: "Yes! For two hours!"



August 22
Me: "Did I make good eggs and pancakes, little man?"
P: "Yes!"
Me: "Whose do you like better, Mama's or Grandma's?"
P: "Mama's AND Grandma's!"
(such a smart boy) ;)

Later...

Me: "Parker, do you want to go to Guitar Center with Dada?"
P: "Yes."
Me: "And maybe somewhere else to get a new box for his latest amp project?"
P: "And we should get a guitar for his amp, too!"
(A boy after Dada's own heart)

August 26
P: "Oh no, Mama made a mess!"
Me: "I made a mess?"
P: "A different mama made a mess."
Me: "Oh."
P: "A different mama made a mess. She's at work and she spilled on the floor. Needs to wipe it up. And I'm not going to Dada's work today."
Me: "Um, OK then."

August 27
P whined and put his fingers in his mouth.

Me: "What's wrong? Do you have ouchie teeth?"
(shakes his head no)
Me: "Did you bite your tongue?"
(shakes his head no)
Me: "Are you just being whiney?"
P: (nods head) "Yes."

Later that day...

Parker was taking a shower and he started to pee. He grabbed his penis and pointed it up.

Me: "Don't point your penis up, the pee might get in your eyes or mouth!"
P: "I want to pee in my mouth!"
Me: "No, that's yucky!"
P: "I want to put my penis in my mouth!"

August 28
Parker was looking at a guitar magazine and noticed a "distressed" looking guitar.

P: "What happened to the paint?"
Me: "Oh, they did that on purpose. It's a design."
P: "Are you kidding me?"

I laugh. He turns the page and points to a man with longish hair.

P: "Does this look like Josh Brogan?"
Me: "I don't know, let me see. Oh, it does look a little like Josh Groban."
P: "Look at his hair!"
Me: "Yeah, is it kind of long and curly looking?"
P: "No, it's funny looking."

He should talk.

September 6
Parker was pretending to go to work and his little cousin Lily was following him. P turned and said, "NO, Lily! Don't go to work! It's MY work!"

October 1
We were on a walk and we stopped for a while to watch the cars on a main street.

P: "Look, Mama! A Smart car!" He paused to watch it drive by. "Who drives Smart cars?"
Me: "Smart people."
P: "I don't know any smart people."

October 2 (today)
Parker helped me sweep and clean the bathroom without me even asking him to, so after we were done I gave him high 5's, pound-it's and told him he could pick out as many stickers as he wanted. I left the room to let him pick them out and a few minutes later he came and found me and said, "I picked out two stickers for being too, too good!"

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"Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Philippians 3:8

Date Night Mad Lib

I couldn't decide whether to post this here on my family blog since it was a true story about hubby and I or put it on my writing blog since it was a story within a story. I compromised and decided to put it on my writing blog and then post a link to it here.

Date Night Mad Lib

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Let's Talk About Dinner

Hubby was nice enough to make P dinner tonight. We had leftover homemade fried rice and P didn't like it the first time around (him spitting it out onto the floor was the first clue) so he got his own meal this round. Jake made him a big plate of macaroni and cheese, garden vegetables, and five (got that? 5!) chicken nuggets.

"Five chicken nuggets AND macaroni and cheese?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, there were only five left and it seemed silly to make three and leave two," Hubby replied.

"Why didn't you make two and leave three then?" I snidely remarked.

Guess how many chicken nuggets P ate? That's right. Two. Guess how many bites of vegetables he ate? Yeah, I don't even have to say it, do I?

Hubby says, "It's OK, whatever he doesn't eat you will."

And yes, I wanted to, but because of that comment, I didn't. I wasn't hungry, I just hate throwing away food. Something my mom shoved down my throat about starving kids in China.

Conversations with P-Man

I've been journaling these little moments and have no energy to write anything creative or work on the videos I have piled up, so I thought it was a good time to do another round of these:

July 9

(P is pulling his music blanket from his room into the living room)

Me: "Parker, I just WASHED that today! What are you doing with it?"

P: "I'm getting it dirty!"

Later that day....

Me: "Hey buddy, you want some calcium?"

P: "Oh yes! I open it all by myself?"

Me: "Uh... no."

P: "Uh... YES!"

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July 11

Dada: "Parker, are you a big boy?"

P: "No, I'm a baby still."

D: "You are? How old are you?"

P: "32 pounds!"

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July 21st

Me: "P you hungry? Do you want me to make dinner?"

P: (heavy shrug and sigh) "Whatever."

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This next one doesn't have a date attached because it's something he uses all the time. Basically, instead of using the term "I want," he says, "I'd better." Some examples:

"I'd better get down now."

"I'd better play with cars."

"I'd better do it by myself."

"I'd better go to sleep now." (Yeah right, I wish he said that).

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"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying." Romans 12:12

Conversations with Parker: Lessons

~The Truth Hurts~

Dada: "OK Buddy, I'm going to work now. Are you going to miss me?"

Parker: "No. I'll just play with my cars."

Lesson: Don't ask your child a question unless you can handle the truth.


~Substituting Words~

Parker (pulling on the crotch of his PJ pants): I have a fudgie.

Mama: A what? A fudgie? You mean a wedgie?

Parker: Yes, a fudgie.

Lesson: Fudge in the pants is uncomfortable.


~Idioms~

If there's anything we can learn from our children, it's the words and phrases we ourselves say often without even realizing it.

Parker's latest idiom: "or somethin'." He uses it quite often, and, somehow, always appropriately. It made me wonder where he picked it up. Then I started to pay attention to how often I used it. Quite a lot, actually. Whenever he wants an explanation for something, I almost always end my explanation with "or somethin'." Oops! I sound really intelligent!

Coming from a two year-old, though, it's quite disarming (and amusing)! Here's an example of Parker using it:

Mama: "Hey Parker, look at the airplane in the sky! Do you see it?"

Parker: "Yes!"

Mama: "Where do you think it's going?"

Parker: "To visit the cars."

Mama: "Oh yeah? Which cars?"

Parker: "The blue ones and red ones, or somethin'"

Lesson: Watch what you say around your kids, dag nabbit!

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"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Conversations With P-Man: Days of the Week

This morning I was in the kitchen making some tea and I could hear Parker in the living room reciting the days of the week. Well, some of them anyway....

Parker: "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, da day, Sat-UR-day!"

Mama: "Where'd you pick that up? Do you know what days of the week are?"

Parker: "Yes!"

Mama: "What day is today?"

Parker: "Monday!" Big grin.

Mama (surprised): "It IS Monday! How did you know that? Hmm.... what day was yesterday?"

Parker: "Monday!"

Mama: "What day is tomorrow?"

Parker: "Monday."

Mama: "Yeah, that's what I figured."

Today's Conversation with P-Man: Dinnertime

Mama: "Parker, do you want some cornbread? And beans?

P, playing intensely with his cars: "No!" Then thinks a sec. "Cornbread?"

Mama: "Yeah, you want beans and cornbread?"

P: "No! Cornbread. Just cornbread!" *emits long fart* "AND beans!"

Thankful Thursday

This has been a tough day. Well, actually a tough week.

One of P's two-year molars finally started cutting through his gums. I think he actually feels better now, though.

He's had a yucky cold which has meant less sleep (for all of us) and lots of...

Boogers boogers everywhere,
Boogers boogers in our hair!

I'm trying hard to ward the cold off, but my throat has been sore and scratchy the last couple of days.

Dada's had to work late every night this week, and he's working Saturday. Poor guy.

I've mentioned this on Facebook, but I've been so puffy and bloated feeling from PMS that I've actually woken up in the middle of the night thinking about it, and mentally making up poems about it. Per my little sister's request, here are a couple of the silly poems I do remember from that night I woke up. They're haiku's for you.

Puffy hands and feet.
My face is full of pimples.
Stop torturing me!

Pickles and ho-ho's,

My appetite's a bit strange.
Say, here comes Aunt flo!

Today I started my period (at least there's some relief from the PMS) after just finishing two weeks ago (my last period lasted two weeks).

I burned my right hand and wrist with a cup of tea this morning.

But, with God's help we're getting by (literally... I've been praying a lot and reading the Bible a lot for strength, patience, and encouragement). It has really helped. I can say that I've definitely had more patience this week than most. And there have, thankfully, been some great things that have happened this week, too! Here are some things I'm thankful for this week:

I'm thankful that the tough things this week have all been little things. There are WAY worse things that could be happening to us.

I'm thankful for the new books my parents sent for Parker. He LOVES them. And one of them, in particular, has just been the perfect metaphor for this week. It is a book of cute poems titled, "Oops!" Here's a sample poem from "Oops!"

FEVER ACHIEVER
I've got a thermometer in my mouth
because Mom says I'm sick. It
is better to have it north than south
(where she wanted to stick it!).

I'm thankful to have discovered our monthly house payment even with taxes, mello roos and association fees will be less than our current rent.

I'm thankful our air conditioning is working.

I'm thankful Parker has been doing so well with potty learning, even while not feeling his best.

I'm thankful Parker and I have found lots of reasons to giggle and laugh this week.

I'm thankful for my parents' generous gift into P's college fund (for no special reason than just because).

and I'm also thankful for all the cute moments we've had that I remembered to journal...

One morning I was reading my Bible and drinking my tea and Parker became very interested, of course, and kept coming over to see what I was reading. When I was done drinking my tea, I asked him if he wanted to pray with me. He was very excited about it and closed his eyes and folded his hands, as though he'd done it a thousand times. It was so cute. After our prayer and saying "Amen," he got off my lap and walked away saying something about Jesus. A few minutes later, he was asking to pray with me again, so this time I asked him to say the prayer. It was short and sweet and ended with an "Amen!"

Another time we were folding laundry and P-man picked up one of my bras and put it around one of his shoulders. Here was the ensuing conversation:

P: "I'm wearing Mama's underwear!"
Me: *laugh* "That's my bra."
P: "This goes on Mama's boobies."
Me: "Um, Yes. Yes it does."

One day Parker was playing with his "cool" orange car and he would get up and run a short distance saying, "I'll be right back." Then he'd pretend he was getting a tool from Dada's toolbox and would run back to the car and pretend to "fix the battery." He then started talking to me:

P: "He's got hash pipes!"
Me: "What?!?"
P: "Hash pipes."
Me: "Oh, exhaust pipes?"
P: "YES! Hash pipes."

We were out driving today and Parker pointed to a stop sign.

P: "P-O-T-S spells stop!"
Me: *laugh* "S-T-O-P spells stop, silly! You read it backwards!"

Magna Doodle Fun

P-man is learning to recognize some words now. We were playing with his Magna Doodle recently and before I took this video he was impressing me by saying the names I was writing without hesitation. I grabbed the camera and tried to catch it on video for family's sake. Like usual, as soon as the camera came out, P decided not to cooperate. At least, not at first...



The next video is just P-man doodling and a fun conversation we had about his picture.

Conversations with P-man: Private Parts

This boy cracks us up! This morning out of nowhere:

P to me: "Mama has no penis."
Me: *laugh* "That's right."
P with sly grin: "Mama has fagina"
Dada and Me: *laughing loudly*
P: "See mama's fagina?" tugging on my robe.
Me: "Um, no, buddy."

Not too long ago after a bath, P-man was helping me put lotion on him. We were sitting on the toilet facing the mirrored shower door. Here was our conversation that day:

P: "Help me put lotion on"
Me: "OK, you can help me put the lotion on."
P: "Put lotion on... nipple! Put lotion on.... toe! Put lotion on penis!"
Me: "Oh, on your penis, huh?"
P: "That feels nice!"

"What's That, Mama?"

Parker has been asking a lot of questions lately. All day long I hear, "what's this, mama?" and "what's that, mama?" and "what's this/that guy, doing?" In Target the other day people kept looking at us because Parker was incessantly pointing and asking "what's that, mama?" over and over without even stopping to take a breath or let me answer. It's cute, but exhausting, too. I guess it's better than the one I'm dreading: "why, mama?" Oh dear. It's coming all too soon, isn't it?