Conversations with Parker: "Anatomy Lesson"

With me being pregnant, and Parker being an inquisitive three year-old, a detailed anatomy lesson was bound to happen sooner rather than later.  This is the last part of our conversation during lunch today:

Parker: "Where does the name 'Mama' come from?"

Me: "It is short for mother, and a mother is a woman who has a child and takes care of it."

Parker: "No, I take care of YOU, Mama!" (proceeds to crawl into my lap and give me a hug).

Me: "Aww, yes, you do."

Parker: "And you take care of Dada, and Dada takes care of me!"

Me: "Yes, we all take care of each other."

Parker: "That's nice to take care of each other."

Me: "Are you going to help me take care of the new baby when he comes out?"

Parker: "Yes, but is he going to come out now?"

Me: "No, we want him to get bigger first.  Right now he's about this big (showing with my hands), and we want him to get this big!"

Parker: "And THIS big! (spreading his arms wide)"

Me: "Well, he can get that big AFTER he comes out."

Parker: "But how does the baby come out?"

Me (doing a mental 'uh-oh'): "Well... there are two different ways he could come out.  See this line in my belly?  The doctor cut open my belly and that's how YOU came out.  The other way he could come out is through my vagina."

Parker (thinking about this): "But if you go pee-pee, the baby will fall into the toilet!"

Me: "No, my pee-pee doesn't come out of my vagina." 

Parker (looking confused): "But how come your pee-pee doesn't come out of your vagina?"

Me: "My pee-pee comes out of my urethra which is a part above my vagina.  I know that's confusing for you since your urethra is inside your penis, so your pee-pee comes out of your penis."

Parker: "But what happens if the baby falls into the potty?" 

Me: "That won't happen, I promise."

Parker: "But what happens if it DOES?"

Me: "Well, then I'd have to rescue him."

Parker: "But what happens if he goes down the drain?"

Me: "That won't happen Sweetie, he'd be too big to go down the drain.  Maybe if he came out now he might, but we want him to come out when he's bigger and he'd be too big to fit down the drain."

Parker: "Maybe we should wait until your vagina gets bigger."

Me (laughing): "Yes, we should probably wait for that, too."

Parker: "But I want to see your... your... your etha."

Me: "You want to see my urethra?"

Parker: "Yes, I want to see it above your vagina."

Me (not liking where this is going and filling with doubt): "OK, maybe the next time I have to pee I'll show you where the pee comes out."

Parker: "But how about now?"

Me (sighing): "OK, I guess I do have to go potty."

And yup, you betcha, I (very briefly) pointed out where my urethra was and then quickly sat on the toilet.  Fortunately, that ended the conversation (for now).  Eek, though!  At least we haven't gotten to the, "but how did the baby get in your belly?" question, yet!

My Head is Going to Explode

Yes, I have some weird allergy/ear thing going on giving me headaches and dizzy spells, but that's not why my head is going to explode. It's going to explode from spending the day "communicating" with a toddler.

I was reminiscing today on Parker's baby days. You know, back when he would cry and cry and cry and I would wish he could talk so I could know what he needed right away. As a first time mom, I guess I didn't fully realize the implications of that wish. I decided that (as Parker finally finishes eating breakfast) I would share with you what a normal day is now like since Parker can talk (bear in mind I've already had to get up twice three four times to serve help Parker in the two fifteen minutes since I've started writing this).

So earlier this morning Parker was taking a bath after waking up soaked with pee, even after being wrapped in two overnight diapers (off topic question - at what age do kids usually stop needing a diaper/pull-up at night after they've already been potty trained? I'm seriously thinking it might still be worthwhile to invest in cloth diapers if P's still going to need something at night for awhile).

Back to the bath. He's in the bath playing with a toy shark while I'm sitting on the toilet drinking some tea. The shark he's playing with starts talking to me in a deep voice.

P: "Hello Mama. What are you doing today?"

Me: "I'm drinking some tea. What are you doing?"

P: "I'm just fine."

Me: (I bust out in a pathetic explanation of the difference between "how" and "what")

P: (still in shark voice) "Mama, how are you today?"

Me: "I'm OK -- a little tired though. How are you today?"

P: "I'm fine. What are you doing today, Mister Mama?"

Me: "Well, after I drink my tea, I'd like to eat breakfast, read my Bible, get dressed and then go grocery shopping."

P: (Reverting back to Parker) "No, I don't want to go! I want to stay here with Dada and play!"

Me: "Sorry, Bud. Dada went to work. It's Monday (start singing a lousy rendition of the Mama's and The Papa's song)... Hey, don't drink that water! It's soapy!"

P: "It's not soapy."

Me: "Yes it is. I just washed you with soap. Look at how cloudy it is!"

P: "Sharks like dirty water."

Me: "They do, huh?"

P: "Yes."

(A minute or two passes while Parker sings "Monday, Monday" and then he pauses to pick his nose and flick his prize into the water.)

P: "I put boogies in the water. Water boogies!" (He laughs like he made the best joke ever and proceeds to dig for more "water boogies.")

Me: (Clearly annoyed) "Are you ready to get out yet?"

P: "I don't want to go to the store! I want to stay here and play!"

Me: "Don't worry, Bud. You'll have time to play. Look at me. I'm not ready. I still have to eat breakfast and get dressed."

P: "I want to eat breakfast, too!"

Me: "OK. What do you want for breakfast?"

P: "Hmm... maybe nothing."

Me: "How about oatmeal?"

P: "Hmm... maybe juice."

Me: "You can have juice if you get out."

P: "OK. I want juice Mister Mama. I want to stay here in my warm towel and YOU get my juice."

Me: (Tempted to bow) "OK, fine." (Proceed to take him out of the bath and then get his [mostly water but don't tell him that] juice.)

P: "I want to go pee-pee, Mama!"

Me: "OK. Stand up, please, and let's go on the potty."

P: "No, I want to sit down on the potty."

Me: "OK, but you need to stand up first, Dude."

P: "I want my towel on. Put it on my back and make sure it doesn't get pee-pee on it. (After peeing) I want to go poo-poo, Mama. I need a magazine."

Me: (Thinking) Oh man, this is going to be a loooooooooong day.

In my prayer later: Thank you, Lord, for my son's ability to talk. I know I complain, and please forgive me for that, but I do appreciate his whiney cute little voice and his demanding sweet demeanor. May he live a long, full, blessed life. Amen.

Thank goodness God has a sense of humor (I hope).
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"Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him." - Proverbs 30:5

Men... Why We Love Them

Remember the "newlywed" days when you couldn't wait to see the other person, when you relished every moment spent together, and when you used the restroom you shut the door, turned on the fan and ran the water to drown out any embarrassing noises? Me neither.

I have a vague recollection of this happening, though.

Fast forward 10 years. We still only have one bathroom. Things can get a little ugly when someone's in the shower or getting ready at the sink and the other really has to "go." Needless to say, I rarely bother to even shut the door anymore. If I spend more than two minutes in the bathroom with the door shut my little "follows-me-everywhere" Parker is opening it anyway.

I've been teaching him about privacy. He will give it to me when I ask (for a minute if I'm lucky). Sometimes I swear he has the memory of a goldfish. Actually, it's probably more because I ask for it that it makes him all the more curious. Especially during "that time" of the month. It's usually the only time I bother to ask for it.

The other day he closed the door when I asked for privacy. Thirty seconds later he popped it back open. He left it open and walked toward his room. 10 seconds later he was nonchalantly passing by, pretending not to look but looking nonetheless. Another 10 seconds and he walks by the other direction doing the same thing. It took every stern mothering instinct in me not to laugh at his antics despite the indecent exposure on my part.

My husband is a little more private about his private stuff. He actually locks the door. But he has gotten a little more lenient about "letting loose" in the restroom. Out of necessity, he had to give in and start peeing in front of me. He was so embarrassed about it at first. "Don't look!" Of course I teased him to no end and pretended to look while really trying not to. I mean, who (in their right mind) wants to see that? But I've learned some new things from this endeavor...

Wait, let me back up a little. I complain about having one bathroom, but we have some really funny memories in the bathroom that I wouldn't want to change for anything. Hubby and I almost always do our bedtime routine in the bathroom together. The bathroom is between our room and Parker's room, so we try to be as quiet as possible when he's asleep. This is not usually feasible when we're trying hard not to laugh at each other's grossness (is that a word? well it is now).

For example, one time while we were brushing our teeth, Jake realized he had to fart. In an effort to muffle the fart, he decided to back up (beep... beep... beep...) into his towel before letting go. Bad idea. Somehow it was magnified ten times as it bounced off the wall behind the towel. I nearly choked on my toothpaste.

OK, so back to the prior subject of urination. I've noticed that Jake seems to fart at the end of every pee (OK, so farts are still in the subject as well). The other night I asked him if it was physically possible for him to pee without farting and he simply stated, "No."

Then I started picturing a public men's room with a man at every urinal, each one farting as if to state, "I'm man, I'm almost done peeing, hear me roar!" When I voiced this mental picture aloud to hubby, he matter of factly stated, "Oh, it happens all the time. It's generally accepted. It's not like everyone stops and points to laugh... unless it smells horrible. Then we wait until the person leaves and someone states 'Did you SMELL that?'"

Another mental picture pops in my head of a group of men crowding around to get a sniff.

A couple of nights ago I had to smile when I passed by the bathroom and hubby was helping Parker use the potty. Parker insisted on standing up like Dada, but this time he didn't want a stool because Dada doesn't use one. Imagine this if you can... nearly 2.5 year-old Parker is on his tippy toes and Jake is holding his armpits. P's "boys" are "resting" on the toilet rim. Jake is cheering him on as he (somehow) makes it in the bowl.

The smile on my face quickly faded when a new picture popped in my head. Parker, as a grown man, farting while pinching off the last of his pee.

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"Words of wisdom are a stream that flows from a deep fountain." Proverbs 18:4

Fun Video Friday: Playing

Some of you have asked me where I've been... Mommy-Momo even asked if I was OK... *laugh* Don't worry, I've just been trying to spend less time on the computer and change my priorities around a bit. God first, then family, and THEN self indulgence. ;)

Here are a couple of videos to satiate you for a little longer. This first one is Parker playing with some coffee cups he collected with Grandma and Grandpa.



I was in the kitchen making dinner one night while Parker was playing and I kept hearing him repeat something over and over. Watch what he was saying in the next video. Too funny! Oh, and sorry about the naked bum. Unavoidable potty learning side-effect.



(FB users click View Original Post to see videos)

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I love this biblical example of forgiveness. Even after everything he went through because of what his step-brothers did, Joseph was able to forgive and found the good in the bad.

"Yes, I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt. Don't worry or blame yourselves for what you did. God is the one who sent me ahead of you to save lives." Genesis 45:4-5

Potty Learning Adventures

*= sarcasm*Oh man, this is FUN!*/sarcasm*

Parker has been using the potty since about 15 months, but only recently when the hot weather hit did we decide maybe we should try it full force and actually try to get him to stop wearing diapers during the day. For two days I let him run around the place bottomless.

The first two days went way better than I expected, except he did poop on the carpet. *laugh* It was easier to clean up than later when he pooped in the underwear. One of the two days I had moved his potty chair into the living room for quick access and by the end of the day it was quite full. One minute I was thinking I should move the chair back into the restroom and clean it up and sure enough the next minute Parker completely tripped over the thing and knocked concentrated pee all over the carpet. Eeek!

He gets a sticker every time he uses the potty, and at some point in time he started collecting them on his dresser. As you can see, he's got quite the collection (it's grown quite a bit since this picture even).

He likes to put the stickers next to other similar stickers. Here are a few samples of his different "groups."

The third day of our potty learning adventure we had the trip to Disneyland and I just planned on him being in diapers and giving it a break so that we could just concentrate on having fun. We were surprised to find out that he had stayed dry up until after lunch! I felt a little bad because I thought maybe he had held it in. It took some time and effort, but Grandma and I convinced him to use the potty at Disneyland and then just put the diaper back on him. We loaded him up with fluids just in case and he didn't hold it again after that. We were kind of busy the rest of the week so, again, we didn't do the training full-force like the first two days. We tried putting regular underwear on him but he tended to forget when he was wearing them and would just go. I had forgotten that Jake's mom had given us some pull-ups for Christmas and I was afraid to let him outside in just the underwear because of it.

I knew that we'd have to take the potty training outside of the house to ever reach full success, so I eventually remembered the pull-ups and dug them up. We started it up full force again and he's doing awesome! He stayed dry at church on Sunday with the pull-up, but he doesn't often tell us when he has to go. He got really upset when he saw other kids leaving to go potty and the volunteers had to buzz me to come help figure out what was wrong with Drama Llama. I took him to the restroom and he stood up on a stool and went. Fortunately he likes to go "like Dada" because it makes bubbles.

Monday we went to my doctor's appointment and later in the afternoon to Toys R Us and he had the same pull-up on all day! He did well in every public restroom. Unfortunately, public restrooms don't usually have stools so while at Toys R Us I invested in a portable toilet seat cover that folds up and stays in the diaper bag. A couple of incidents of wet knees from being on the ground to help Parker stay on the seat were enough to get me to spend the $9.00. We haven't used it yet so I'm not sure how well it's going to work.

Yesterday, he wore underwear all day (except we put a pull-up on when we went outside for a walk and diapers during nap/quiet times) and we didn't have any accidents! He's getting a little better about telling me if he has to go, but usually it's just me reminding him to go.

Our biggest hurdle so far has been getting him to poop on the toilet. He used to do it quite often in the beginning when it was new and fun, but now he only goes during his quiet time in his crib (AKA his Poop 'N Play). I'm not sure how to change that routine for him. He does it almost every day and has done that since he was really little. He prefers to wait until he's alone and can relax and "let loose." So one day when it was almost quiet time, I set him up on the big toilet and gave him lots of entertainment.

He sat there for 45 minutes with no results. But sure enough it all came out during his quiet time. Any advice/suggestions on the poop thing would be much appreciated!

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"Then he said to his disciples, 'When you welcome even a child because of me, you welcome me. And when you welcome me, you welcome the one who sent me. Whichever one of you is the most humble is the greatest.'" Luke 9:48

Thankful Thursday

1. I'm thankful for my new running shoes. Fit like they were custom made for me.
2. I'm thankful for long walks.
3. I'm thankful for prayer time with Parker yesterday (a blog for another day).
4. I'm thankful that my new journal from Sara has already inspired some writing (not poetry though... yet).
5. I'm thankful our TV is fixed.
6. I'm thankful for dental insurance. Having a root canal performed today! Boo. Let's hope this one actually makes the pain less instead of worse like the last one.
   
7. I'm thankful I'm almost done writing this and I'm not embarrassed to use the toilet in front of my hubby because at the time of writing this, I REALLY have to "go" and he is in our only restroom brushing his teeth. Thank goodness (especially for his sake), it's just number 1.

Birthday Week: Volume 2, Elmo Potty

Our Gift to Parker

Thankful Thursday - OK, Summer in Winter?

Parker is taking a long nap (say what?) and I'm feeling a little wordy today, so I'm going to start my Thankful Thursday list with a little update on this week. Remember last week when I was jumping for joy at the "spring-like" weather? Not anymore! It's been hot and dry this week with some Santa Ana allergy instigating winds. *insert grumpy face here* Parker decided not to nap both Monday and Wednesday, deciding instead to play in his crib and poop and then not wanting to go back down after I discovered his treats. Today as I was putting him down, he said he wanted to go pee-pee on the potty. Of course. I put him on the potty and waited. And waited. Where's that pee, dude? So the timer comes out. I start to take him off the potty and he cries, "poo-poo." Oh, Lord. Well, after Monday and Wednesday, I decide to take him at his word and give him some more time. Nothing happening. I saw that he was enjoying my company (me on the bathroom floor = annoyed as heck!) and decided to risk leaving him alone on the toilet in the hopes it would hurry things along. I told him to call me when he was all done. He whined for awhile, was quiet for a little bit, started cheering and I went back in. He had tinkled a tiny bit. I asked if he was all done and he insisted again he had to go poo-poo. So I left again. It didn't take very long and he was crying saying he was all done. He insisted he had done a "little poo-poo," but I think it was just gas because he was farting and pointing to his "bum-bum" as he was saying this. *laugh* His birthday present from us is his own potty chair. I'm hoping that will free up my time spent in the bathroom, but dreading that instead it might instigate a half-naked Parker running around peeing everywhere. Yikes!

Parker just woke up so I'll quickly wrap this up with my Thankful Thursday list as he gradually wakes up with milk and cartoons...

1. I'm grateful for the morning snuggles with my hubby
2. I'm grateful for Neil-Med Sinus Rinse (seriously, all allergy sufferers should try this, and non-allergy sufferers too!)
3. I'm grateful that we managed to survive with only running the AC twice this week.
4. I'm grateful to have discovered that Parker will nap with his door open... it's been too hot/stuffy to keep it closed, even with a fan!
5. I'm grateful that it appears my thyroid medication is kicking in and I have more energy and patience for Parker.
6. I'm grateful for workout videos that I can do while Parker is sleeping (or awake for that matter).
7. And last, but not least, I'm grateful for our play dates with the triplets! It's interesting to watch Parker learning how to interact with other kids.
   

Thankful Thursday: Spring in Winter

So many things to be thankful for this week, but the biggest thing I'm grateful for is this Spring in Winter weather! Spring is my favorite season... after about, what... maybe three weeks of "winter" here? Ha! So, here are some other things I'm grateful for this week, many of which I swear are a result of this weather!

1. I'm grateful for a small boost in energy this week.
2. I'm grateful for all our "adventure" walks.
3. I'm grateful for yesterday's moment of sitting outside with Parker, making up silly songs together.
4. I'm grateful for all the good naps this week *knock on wood*!
5. I'm grateful for each day Parker's verbal skills keep growing and his funny little personality shines through... he can sing some songs all the way through... even if they're a little muddled, but it's so cute he remembers the order and everything. If we try to sing something out of order, he'll say, "no, no" and start singing the right verse. He's a very particular guy. Has to have things just so... I'd like to say he got that from his Dada, but who am I kidding? I'm so anal it even freaks me out sometimes. But the elephant memory... that's DEFINITELY from Jake. I can barely remember what I was doing 10 minutes ago!
   
6. I'm grateful for the two times this week Parker told me he needed to use the potty. Once pee-pee, and once poo-poo. Wish he'd tell me every time, but we're letting him set the pace 'cause we don't want to push him before he's really ready (or maybe it's us not being ready)...
7. And last but not least, I'm grateful to have a routine back in place. The lack of set routine from the holidays was really throwing me for a loop. (See... what'd I tell ya? Anal! Not that anyone's arguing that point...) :)
   

Parker's New Robe

Parker loves "naked boy" time, especially after his bath. Unfortunately, with the weather turning colder (finally), it's been a little too nippy for this (we're trying to conserve energy/money by not using the heater). We decided to buy Parker a cozy robe so he could still air out a little without freezing his hiney off. He loves it because it has Lightening McQueen on it! Here is his best GQ pose in it.

On a similar note... Parker hasn't been using the potty as often anymore. Maybe partially because it's been cold, but also because he's going through the terrible "no's" and defying everything, just to show us who's boss. So we've let it go for awhile so it won't be a stressful event. He still uses it once a day or so, but he hasn't been telling us when he needs to go if he's "airing out" so we've had some accidents. He's obviously not ready for potty learning... he just thought it was a fun thing for awhile and now it's old hat.

Changing, Growing and Other Fun Stuff

Parker is growing more and more into a little boy and is less and less like a baby every day. He is becoming more independent and is so proud of his accomplishments. He has been letting us know more often when he has to use the potty and has had five poo-poos on the potty so far. We haven't done anything special to coerce him into wanting to use it - he just thinks it's awesome because Mama and Dada do it and now he can too! He gets lots of praise when he tinkles or poops and we think that's another incentive because almost more than anything else he loves to please us. The only bummer about this whole potty thing is that it is a huge time-buster because I have to sit in the bathroom with him while he goes and he will sit there reading or drawing for a half hour sometimes if he has to poop. It's nice when it happens to coincide with me getting ready for the day because I can brush my teeth and do my hair and make-up while he's otherwise occupied.

Parker has developed another security blanket (or sheet, actually). Parker always wants to sleep with something covering him, but it's been too warm for a blanket and since they don't sell crib sized top sheets anywhere that we've been able to find, I took an old twin-sized top sheet, cut it in half, sewed the cut area and now he has two identical sheets. Thank goodness he has two because now he has decided that he doesn't just want to carry his blanket around, but he also wants to carry around his sheet too, so it needs to be washed often, just like his blanket.


Parker has also been finding new ways to entertain himself and has been so much better about playing by himself so I can get things done. He loves to make ramps for his cars to go down, or just push them off an upside down box. He found my hot rollers and has fun taking them out and putting them back in the container. It's like a puzzle for him since there are different sized rollers and he has to figure out which holes they go into.


Just this week he has decided to talk a lot and has been trying to repeat a ton of words we say. I've mentioned in a Myspace and Facebook blog that he is learning his colors and his favorite one is blue (he says brew). He has also been using all the following words in addition to his usuals (not very clearly, but he tries): Drew (this is the name for his uncle Andy whose full name is Andrew) sorry, down, red, yellow, brown, green, peas, please (yeah, these words sound exactly the same) juice, beans, truck, pee-pee, poo-poo (those he just used today for the first time), and probably more that I'm not thinking of.

Parker also loves to help me with everything (this only becomes a problem when I'm washing dishes or cooking) so it's been a lot easier to clean when he's awake now and not have to wait for everything for the weekend when Jake is home to help watch him and/or help clean. Today Parker helped me clean the bathroom, sweep and clean the floors, do a ton of laundry, and vacuum. He loves to push the vacuum cleaner so we each take turns and I count backwards from 10 to 1 so he knows when it is his turn or my turn (we do this with his toothbrush, too). We have found a timer to be a very useful tool, not just for time-outs but also for giving him a specific time frame to finish what he's doing before he has to move on to something he doesn't really want to do. It really helps to curb tantrums.

I'll finish this up with a couple of fun videos. Yes, the Helen Keller dance is completely non-PC, but here is a good analysis that my Dad wrote of the song from which the Helen Keller reference originates.

More Firsts!

Parker went poo-poo on the potty for the first time this morning! Mama put him on the toilet for his morning pee and he quickly asked for a magazine so she thought maybe he just wasn't ready to go. As soon as he started reading, sure enough a little tinkle started, and then some other suspicious noises and funny faces. Mama was shocked! It might be time to start the potty training in full force. Parker hates wearing a diaper so it might not be as difficult as we fear.

Also, this past weekend Parker got his first haircut from Grandma Munns! Technically it's his third haircut since Mama attempted twice, but this was his first good hair cut. Here are some pics of the momentous occasion (don't worry, I'm referring to the hair cut... we didn't take pics of the poo-poo).

Making some finishing touches

Devilishly happy with his cut!

Special dance walk with Grandma

There's a First for Everything!

We've had quite a few firsts this week. Parker went to his first concert on Tuesday, which happened to also be Dada's first show with Noon on Sunday. Parker was thrilled and sang and danced the whole time. He only got annoyed when Mama wouldn't let him on the stage.

Later on Tuesday, Parker went pee-pee in the potty for the first time! We haven't started the full potty learning process yet, but since he has been asking to sit on the toilet for a few months, we finally bought him a little Elmo seat that goes on the toilet so he could sit comfortably. Parker loves it. We only pull it out when he asks. He sits on it and reads his guitar magazines. Tuesday night he sat there for over 10 minutes and had 4 tinkles! He has gone two more times on the potty over the last few days... Mama still isn't convinced he's ready to be fully potty trained though.

Parker has also decided this week to start doing somersaults. We're not sure where he picked it up, but we kinda caught one on video. What a silly boy!




The last thing to note is that Mama has picked up running again to de-stress after a long day with Parker (let's see if she can keep this up). The first two times she went out she couldn't get up the big hill in their neighborhood without walking, but the third time, on Tuesday, she was able to jog up the whole thing for the first time and was quite proud of herself. She was able to do it again on Thursday night so maybe she's getting stronger! Let's just hope she doesn't injure herself doing all this. *knock on wood*