Schooled by a Polite 3.5 Year-Old

We've been working really hard on Parker's manners, but so far all it's taught my three and a half year old is to talk back politely.

Me: "Will you bring me your juice cup from upstairs, please?"

Parker (sweetly): "Will you go get it, please?"

Me: "I asked you first, buddy.  Besides, I brought it up to you, so the nice and helpful thing to do would be to bring it back down to me."

Parker (even more sweetly): "Yes, you brought it up to me, so you may bring it back down, too."
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"And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them." - Luke 6:31

Conversations with (2.5 years old now!) Parker

July 25
We were visiting Jake's parents. Grandpa Dan had accidentally killed a large patch of grass. Parker looked at it and said, "That's a bummer."

July 28
Parker was sitting on the potty pulling on one of those little advertisement cards in a magazine and was getting rather frustrated. When I asked him what was wrong he said, "I'm trying to get this thingamajigger out!"

August 11
(Playing by himself with his cars)
Car #1: "Why, hello! Nice to meet you!"
Car #2: "You're not nice!"
Car #1: "I'm a teacher. I'm nice. Did you know that?"

(He matched them up like this by himself. Silly kid.)

Later...

Me: "Parker, buddy, guess what?"
P: "Chicken butt."

August 12
Me: "Parker, please don't drum on the table with your fork. You can use your hands to drum though."
P: "I don't want to drum with my hands! It's boring!"

Later...
Me: "Parker, do you want a vitamin and some milk now?"
P: "That's OK."
Me: "Does that mean you do want them or no?"
P: "That's OK."
Me: "Please say, 'yes I do want them' or 'no, I don't.'"
P: "Yes, I don't."


August 16
I handed Parker his electric toothbrush.
P: "Now I'm going to start it on, OK? OK."
Wait, was he talking to me? He either was talking to a voice in his head or decided to answer for me.

Later...
P: "I'm swinging like Christopher Robin?"
Me: "Which way does Christopher Robin swing?" (then laugh realizing what I just asked)

August 17
P singing: "This old man, he played three. He played knick-knack on my knee with a knick-knack paddy whack, talk about a bone, this old man came rolling home."


August 20
(swinging on the swing)
P: "I want to try the other one. This one's boring!"

Later...

Me: "Do you want to color?"
P: "Yes! For two hours!"



August 22
Me: "Did I make good eggs and pancakes, little man?"
P: "Yes!"
Me: "Whose do you like better, Mama's or Grandma's?"
P: "Mama's AND Grandma's!"
(such a smart boy) ;)

Later...

Me: "Parker, do you want to go to Guitar Center with Dada?"
P: "Yes."
Me: "And maybe somewhere else to get a new box for his latest amp project?"
P: "And we should get a guitar for his amp, too!"
(A boy after Dada's own heart)

August 26
P: "Oh no, Mama made a mess!"
Me: "I made a mess?"
P: "A different mama made a mess."
Me: "Oh."
P: "A different mama made a mess. She's at work and she spilled on the floor. Needs to wipe it up. And I'm not going to Dada's work today."
Me: "Um, OK then."

August 27
P whined and put his fingers in his mouth.

Me: "What's wrong? Do you have ouchie teeth?"
(shakes his head no)
Me: "Did you bite your tongue?"
(shakes his head no)
Me: "Are you just being whiney?"
P: (nods head) "Yes."

Later that day...

Parker was taking a shower and he started to pee. He grabbed his penis and pointed it up.

Me: "Don't point your penis up, the pee might get in your eyes or mouth!"
P: "I want to pee in my mouth!"
Me: "No, that's yucky!"
P: "I want to put my penis in my mouth!"

August 28
Parker was looking at a guitar magazine and noticed a "distressed" looking guitar.

P: "What happened to the paint?"
Me: "Oh, they did that on purpose. It's a design."
P: "Are you kidding me?"

I laugh. He turns the page and points to a man with longish hair.

P: "Does this look like Josh Brogan?"
Me: "I don't know, let me see. Oh, it does look a little like Josh Groban."
P: "Look at his hair!"
Me: "Yeah, is it kind of long and curly looking?"
P: "No, it's funny looking."

He should talk.

September 6
Parker was pretending to go to work and his little cousin Lily was following him. P turned and said, "NO, Lily! Don't go to work! It's MY work!"

October 1
We were on a walk and we stopped for a while to watch the cars on a main street.

P: "Look, Mama! A Smart car!" He paused to watch it drive by. "Who drives Smart cars?"
Me: "Smart people."
P: "I don't know any smart people."

October 2 (today)
Parker helped me sweep and clean the bathroom without me even asking him to, so after we were done I gave him high 5's, pound-it's and told him he could pick out as many stickers as he wanted. I left the room to let him pick them out and a few minutes later he came and found me and said, "I picked out two stickers for being too, too good!"

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"Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Philippians 3:8

Date Night Mad Lib

I couldn't decide whether to post this here on my family blog since it was a true story about hubby and I or put it on my writing blog since it was a story within a story. I compromised and decided to put it on my writing blog and then post a link to it here.

Date Night Mad Lib

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Pictures For My Mother

Facebook lovelies, I know these pics are already up, but my dear technologically challenged mother hates Facebook and I decided to put them on the family blog as well... just for her. Enjoy, mom! I do not have a real camera at the moment (just my phone) so I apologize for the quality (or lack thereof) of most of these.

Playing Dress-Up

Super Parker!

Look at him fly!

Sheriff Mama!

Together we're cleaning up this town!

And of course, Parker had to have a turn being Sheriff!

Auntie Leann's text/photo response to our pics
"Arrr, I'm the Pirate Mama!"

Another day...
P: "I'm wearing Uncle Drew's shoes!"
Me: "What? Uncle Drew wears high heels?"
P: "No... but he likes them!"

Coloring Fun




What happens when P asks me to color with him

And speaking of corn....

This is a bite P took of his corn on the cob... right through the cob!

Conversations with P-Man

I've been journaling these little moments and have no energy to write anything creative or work on the videos I have piled up, so I thought it was a good time to do another round of these:

July 9

(P is pulling his music blanket from his room into the living room)

Me: "Parker, I just WASHED that today! What are you doing with it?"

P: "I'm getting it dirty!"

Later that day....

Me: "Hey buddy, you want some calcium?"

P: "Oh yes! I open it all by myself?"

Me: "Uh... no."

P: "Uh... YES!"

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July 11

Dada: "Parker, are you a big boy?"

P: "No, I'm a baby still."

D: "You are? How old are you?"

P: "32 pounds!"

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July 21st

Me: "P you hungry? Do you want me to make dinner?"

P: (heavy shrug and sigh) "Whatever."

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This next one doesn't have a date attached because it's something he uses all the time. Basically, instead of using the term "I want," he says, "I'd better." Some examples:

"I'd better get down now."

"I'd better play with cars."

"I'd better do it by myself."

"I'd better go to sleep now." (Yeah right, I wish he said that).

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"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying." Romans 12:12

Men... Why We Love Them

Remember the "newlywed" days when you couldn't wait to see the other person, when you relished every moment spent together, and when you used the restroom you shut the door, turned on the fan and ran the water to drown out any embarrassing noises? Me neither.

I have a vague recollection of this happening, though.

Fast forward 10 years. We still only have one bathroom. Things can get a little ugly when someone's in the shower or getting ready at the sink and the other really has to "go." Needless to say, I rarely bother to even shut the door anymore. If I spend more than two minutes in the bathroom with the door shut my little "follows-me-everywhere" Parker is opening it anyway.

I've been teaching him about privacy. He will give it to me when I ask (for a minute if I'm lucky). Sometimes I swear he has the memory of a goldfish. Actually, it's probably more because I ask for it that it makes him all the more curious. Especially during "that time" of the month. It's usually the only time I bother to ask for it.

The other day he closed the door when I asked for privacy. Thirty seconds later he popped it back open. He left it open and walked toward his room. 10 seconds later he was nonchalantly passing by, pretending not to look but looking nonetheless. Another 10 seconds and he walks by the other direction doing the same thing. It took every stern mothering instinct in me not to laugh at his antics despite the indecent exposure on my part.

My husband is a little more private about his private stuff. He actually locks the door. But he has gotten a little more lenient about "letting loose" in the restroom. Out of necessity, he had to give in and start peeing in front of me. He was so embarrassed about it at first. "Don't look!" Of course I teased him to no end and pretended to look while really trying not to. I mean, who (in their right mind) wants to see that? But I've learned some new things from this endeavor...

Wait, let me back up a little. I complain about having one bathroom, but we have some really funny memories in the bathroom that I wouldn't want to change for anything. Hubby and I almost always do our bedtime routine in the bathroom together. The bathroom is between our room and Parker's room, so we try to be as quiet as possible when he's asleep. This is not usually feasible when we're trying hard not to laugh at each other's grossness (is that a word? well it is now).

For example, one time while we were brushing our teeth, Jake realized he had to fart. In an effort to muffle the fart, he decided to back up (beep... beep... beep...) into his towel before letting go. Bad idea. Somehow it was magnified ten times as it bounced off the wall behind the towel. I nearly choked on my toothpaste.

OK, so back to the prior subject of urination. I've noticed that Jake seems to fart at the end of every pee (OK, so farts are still in the subject as well). The other night I asked him if it was physically possible for him to pee without farting and he simply stated, "No."

Then I started picturing a public men's room with a man at every urinal, each one farting as if to state, "I'm man, I'm almost done peeing, hear me roar!" When I voiced this mental picture aloud to hubby, he matter of factly stated, "Oh, it happens all the time. It's generally accepted. It's not like everyone stops and points to laugh... unless it smells horrible. Then we wait until the person leaves and someone states 'Did you SMELL that?'"

Another mental picture pops in my head of a group of men crowding around to get a sniff.

A couple of nights ago I had to smile when I passed by the bathroom and hubby was helping Parker use the potty. Parker insisted on standing up like Dada, but this time he didn't want a stool because Dada doesn't use one. Imagine this if you can... nearly 2.5 year-old Parker is on his tippy toes and Jake is holding his armpits. P's "boys" are "resting" on the toilet rim. Jake is cheering him on as he (somehow) makes it in the bowl.

The smile on my face quickly faded when a new picture popped in my head. Parker, as a grown man, farting while pinching off the last of his pee.

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"Words of wisdom are a stream that flows from a deep fountain." Proverbs 18:4

Conversations with Parker: Lessons

~The Truth Hurts~

Dada: "OK Buddy, I'm going to work now. Are you going to miss me?"

Parker: "No. I'll just play with my cars."

Lesson: Don't ask your child a question unless you can handle the truth.


~Substituting Words~

Parker (pulling on the crotch of his PJ pants): I have a fudgie.

Mama: A what? A fudgie? You mean a wedgie?

Parker: Yes, a fudgie.

Lesson: Fudge in the pants is uncomfortable.


~Idioms~

If there's anything we can learn from our children, it's the words and phrases we ourselves say often without even realizing it.

Parker's latest idiom: "or somethin'." He uses it quite often, and, somehow, always appropriately. It made me wonder where he picked it up. Then I started to pay attention to how often I used it. Quite a lot, actually. Whenever he wants an explanation for something, I almost always end my explanation with "or somethin'." Oops! I sound really intelligent!

Coming from a two year-old, though, it's quite disarming (and amusing)! Here's an example of Parker using it:

Mama: "Hey Parker, look at the airplane in the sky! Do you see it?"

Parker: "Yes!"

Mama: "Where do you think it's going?"

Parker: "To visit the cars."

Mama: "Oh yeah? Which cars?"

Parker: "The blue ones and red ones, or somethin'"

Lesson: Watch what you say around your kids, dag nabbit!

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"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Our Adventurous Day

Today started out as any normal Wednesday. Parker woke up when the garbage truck arrived, and Dada graciously got out of bed and brought him to the window to watch. A while later, I finally dragged myself out of bed and we went to work with our normal morning routine.

Parker played while I got started on laundry, we went outside to watch Dada leave for work, went back in to eat breakfast, Parker read while I did Bible study and drank my tea, and then we got ready to go to the park.

Upon starting my car and smelling the stale noxious air, I remembered that I still needed to buy a new air conditioning filter. I had no idea where a Kragen or other auto store was, but something told me to take the freeway to get to the "dinosaur" park today instead of side streets. At the exit, lo and behold, there was a Kragen right there. They didn't have my air filter in stock, but directed me to another Kragen up the road that had one. Yes! An unplanned chore done! Well, partly done anyway. Still need to install it.

Then, we finally headed to the our original destination. We had lots of fun exploring the park and playing in the turtle fountains. Parker shared his crackers with some little blackbirds. Actually, there were small blackbirds, and then slightly fatter brownish blackbirds. I immediately thought the bigger browner ones were females and the males were the smaller black ones. Why did I think that? Well, the bigger ones would stand right next to a piece of cracker and make a loud racket until a smaller blackbird would come pick it up and put it in the bigger bird's mouth. At least two pairs of these birds did this. I thought it was a little sweet, but pretty comical, too. Those bossy, demanding females, making the males their slaves! After doing some research online, I confirmed my suspicions. They are Brewer's Blackbirds. The females are the larger, browner, bossy ones.

Speaking of females, this morning I read Ecclesiastes and I'm fairly convinced whomever the author is (many believe it is Solomon, some think it was one of his brothers, but ultimately we don't really know), that he must have been scarred by some women. I laughed out loud at this passage, "... I do know there is one good man in a thousand, but never have I found a good woman." (Ecclesiastes 7:28) We women are blamed for the original sin. We've been bossy from the very beginning. Eve told Adam to eat, and he did. These female birds tell the males to feed them, and they do. I find it more than a little hilarious. I think God does, too. He was the one who created us, after all. "Think of what God has done! If God makes something crooked, can you make it straight?" - Ecclesiastes 7:13

Even children recognize who's really in charge. This past Sunday, after Parker woke up from his nap and I took some chicken out of the freezer to defrost, I suggested we all go to the park for a little bit. I asked Jake what he thought and he said, "Parker's the boss." Parker turned right around and said, "I'm not the boss. Mama's the boss!" He's no fool.

OK, so I went off on a tangent there.

Back to the present day. We got home from the park and I noticed that the two plants on our front entry could use a little watering. Parker loves to help us water the plants so off we went to fill a water jug. Parker helped me water one of the plants and then we went on to the next one. I foolishly let him stay on my left, closest to the stairs. After we were done, he stood back up and lost his footing. I was horrified to see him start to tumble down the stairs. His butt went down first, then he flipped over head first down another step. I shouted, "Oh my God, oh my God, help!" And He did. Parker just stopped tumbling. It was a miracle. He had only fallen down two of the fifteen stairs. I scooped him up and held onto him tightly, probably more scared than he was. I thanked Jesus and after we were back inside and I was able to calm down a little, we said a little prayer together thanking the Lord for keeping Parker from falling any further down the stairs. So far, I haven't found even a single scratch on him, and hopefully there's nothing hurt internally.

Now Parker is napping and I'm thinking that although he really wanted to help me install the air filter in my car later, that maybe we've had enough adventures for one day, thank you very much. I think I'm gonna pull rank and make Dada do it.
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For some laughs, here are some more UNinspiring (and yes, way out-of-context) quotes from Ecclesiastes:

"Nothing makes sense!" - Ecclesiastes 1:2

"All of life is far more boring than words could ever say." Ecclesiastes 1:8

"The more you know, the more you hurt; the more you understand, the more you suffer." Ecclesiastes 1:18

"Wise or foolish, we all die and are soon forgotten." - Ecclesiastes 2:16

"Don't be surprised if the poor of your country are abused, and injustice takes the place of justice." - Ecclesiastes 5:8

"... There is no end to books, and too much study will wear you out." - Ecclesiastes 12:12

I truly believe that books of the Bible should be read as a whole to fully grasp the context. It's easy to misconstrue single verses and manipulate them to read how you want. I just showed you how I did it! Maybe it'll hearten you to read Ecclesiastes, though. ;) Happy Wednesday!

Conversations With P-Man: Days of the Week

This morning I was in the kitchen making some tea and I could hear Parker in the living room reciting the days of the week. Well, some of them anyway....

Parker: "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, da day, Sat-UR-day!"

Mama: "Where'd you pick that up? Do you know what days of the week are?"

Parker: "Yes!"

Mama: "What day is today?"

Parker: "Monday!" Big grin.

Mama (surprised): "It IS Monday! How did you know that? Hmm.... what day was yesterday?"

Parker: "Monday!"

Mama: "What day is tomorrow?"

Parker: "Monday."

Mama: "Yeah, that's what I figured."

Fun Video Friday: Playing

Some of you have asked me where I've been... Mommy-Momo even asked if I was OK... *laugh* Don't worry, I've just been trying to spend less time on the computer and change my priorities around a bit. God first, then family, and THEN self indulgence. ;)

Here are a couple of videos to satiate you for a little longer. This first one is Parker playing with some coffee cups he collected with Grandma and Grandpa.



I was in the kitchen making dinner one night while Parker was playing and I kept hearing him repeat something over and over. Watch what he was saying in the next video. Too funny! Oh, and sorry about the naked bum. Unavoidable potty learning side-effect.



(FB users click View Original Post to see videos)

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I love this biblical example of forgiveness. Even after everything he went through because of what his step-brothers did, Joseph was able to forgive and found the good in the bad.

"Yes, I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt. Don't worry or blame yourselves for what you did. God is the one who sent me ahead of you to save lives." Genesis 45:4-5

Today's Conversation with P-Man: Dinnertime

Mama: "Parker, do you want some cornbread? And beans?

P, playing intensely with his cars: "No!" Then thinks a sec. "Cornbread?"

Mama: "Yeah, you want beans and cornbread?"

P: "No! Cornbread. Just cornbread!" *emits long fart* "AND beans!"

Ironing Irony

I finally got around to that ironing, and look what I found while ironing one of my shirts:

It figures.

Of course, I admit that I buy cheap clothing. Twenty-five years from now none of my clothing from today will ever show up in a vintage clothing store.

Wow, Is That Little Jar of Powder Enough for That Bum-Bum?

Dada, Parker will be doing this again for you not too long from now - right before he puts us in a nursing home. Cheers to growing old(er)! We love you bunches and bunches!

Happy Birthday!





Jake's face upon seeing this.

Mama Smells Like Monkey Balls

One day I was trying to get P-man to rest but he was too antsy so I thought I'd try a game my sisters and I used to play many moons ago when we were trying to fall asleep. It was called "Whoever Talks First." One of us would proclaim, "whoever talks first smells like_________!" or "whoever talks first is ____________!" and then we'd count down. So I tried to explain the game to P (knowing full well he wouldn't get it) and then I said, "Whoever talks first smells like monkey balls! OK, when I count to three, no talking or you'll smell like monkey balls! 1...2...3..." And of course, not too long afterward, P-man exclaimed, "Mama smells like monkey balls!" I cracked up so he repeated it over and over and now it's a running joke.

Later on, I told my sister Sarah about it, who told my mom about it, who asked that I try to get it on video for her to see. Well, it's hard to get a toddler to fully cooperate with the camera, so I had a long boring video with a few good parts. Fortunately, my hubby showed me how to use Windows Movie Maker (which I forgot I even had on the computer) and I learned how to edit my videos! Cool. So now I was able to put together the best parts I could get on video. Here ya go, mom!

(As usual, Facebook users will have to click the button "View Original Post" to watch the video)

Spider!

We have had a few visitors with eight legs lately. Here's a fella I am proud to say I took action on 'cause he was crawling towards P's room and he freaked me out. I didn't know if he was a biter or not.

I got him off the ceiling with a broom and then caught him in a cup. I got P-man to open the front door and we kind of threw him down the stairs. *shudder* He was creepy.

Here's a video of another time we were trying to catch a spider in a cup. The spider was too fast and hid and P thought that he could get him to come out by calling him. That's when I grabbed the camera 'cause it was too funny.

Conversations with P-man: Private Parts

This boy cracks us up! This morning out of nowhere:

P to me: "Mama has no penis."
Me: *laugh* "That's right."
P with sly grin: "Mama has fagina"
Dada and Me: *laughing loudly*
P: "See mama's fagina?" tugging on my robe.
Me: "Um, no, buddy."

Not too long ago after a bath, P-man was helping me put lotion on him. We were sitting on the toilet facing the mirrored shower door. Here was our conversation that day:

P: "Help me put lotion on"
Me: "OK, you can help me put the lotion on."
P: "Put lotion on... nipple! Put lotion on.... toe! Put lotion on penis!"
Me: "Oh, on your penis, huh?"
P: "That feels nice!"

Spectrum Day

Recently we met up with Jake's folks at the Spectrum. Grandma Connie took Parker on the cool "train." He loved it.


He always wants to "turn turn" Grandpa's "truck" so before we parted, he got a chance to "drive" us around. Watch the video below to see Grandpa Dan racing beside us and the awful crash he experienced!

Going Bananas

Big boy eating his food without needing it cut up!

They're brothers from a different mother.

Fun Video Friday - Musical Poop Time

Funny Boy!

No more worries about Parker's lack of speech! It went from us trying to coerce him to use his words to us saying "OK, you can be quiet any time now!" He's still a pretty serious kid, but he has a quirky sense of humor starting to blossom that we're enjoying discovering.

Parker loves him some pizza!

Here he is hamming it up and singing along to a song playing overhead at Quizno's. The paper microphone came with his kid's meal.


Parker has started to string two or more words together, and sometimes will use simple sentences such as, "Mama, down please," "Mama, up please" and "Elmo Cheese Crackers, please." I put a bowl of yogurt in front of him a few days ago and he looked up at me and rambled off a bunch of things, most of which was not real clear English, but I understood him to be saying something to the effect of, "But I don't want yogurt, I want applesauce!" Needless to say, after some grumbling he ate the yogurt and then I gave him some applesauce, too.

But he's not quite ready to grow up yet. Our neighbor Carly is always asking him if he's a big boy or a baby and he still always replies, "baby." The other day he was whining quite a bit so I started to tease him and asked him if he was a big boy or a big baby. He gave me a very concerned look, and replied, "no, LITTLE baby." I so wish I had that on video. I was laughing so hard!

One of Parker's and Grandma Munns' new favorite games came from Parker's sense of humor. She and I were sitting in the back of the car with Parker one day on our way somewhere and I gave him a cracker, but he didn't start eating it right away, just looked down at it for awhile. Grandma teased him and asked, "so are you going to eat that cracker or just look at it?" He gave her a sly look and then put the cracker right in front of his eyes and just stared at it. Of course we laughed so now they love to play that game whenever the opportunity arises. This video below shows how much he loves his Grandma Munns! She has a Dr. Seuss book she reads to him when he visits her and one of their favorite parts of the story is when she reads "goo-goo goggles."

This next video is me just trying to get him to say some things on camera:

Parker has also discovered the vast usefulness of the word "no."