I Ate Shampoo

Yes, that's right. I had a dream last night about eating shampoo. It was blue. I think it was Pert Plus, the old school flavor. I mean, color.

I was so grossed out that I made myself wake up before I did something stupid like washing it down with milk (I'm lactose intolerant).

But it got me thinking about all the strange stuff I used to consume when I was a kid:

The weird weed in my neighbor's yard that we called sauerkraut. My mom freaked out every time she caught us chewing on it. "At least wash it first! There could be cat pee on there!"

Bubble gum. Yes, that's right. I chewed AND swallowed it. Regularly.

Play Doh. But only the red flavor. I mean, color.

My toenails. I'd probably still do it if I were flexible enough.

Boogers. I tease my older sister about her booger collection on the ceiling (we shared the top bunk), but at least she didn't eat them.

Dog bone cookies. I don't think it was a dare, either.

Fish eyes. OK, that wasn't me. That was my best friend's weird brother.

Brown bread.

And there's nothing as refreshing as a big glass of pickle juice.

All that and my mother said I was a picky eater. Pshaw! As if.